The Water is Cold and Deep
Daily life was ordinary, neither dark, nor light. I missed the emotional contrast. I craved for something new to be experienced, a new feeling, a new place, a new emotion.
For that to happen, I let my imagination go beyond my reality. I imagined a story, created narratives, and staged myself for the camera to fit that story.
My imagination also opened my vulnerability to the world. I let unknown feelings and desires into my soul. I opened myself to nature. I started to feel male and female energies, silent communications, gazes. For the first time, I allowed myself to feel beautiful and desired, which I never felt. I felt alive and explorative. Only, I am yet to learn that opening vulnerability always comes with confronting hidden feelings and desires.
The borders between real and imagined became blurred. I lost myself between real and imagined.
I opened my vulnerability, but I also lost my ground. I was trapped inside of my destructive thoughts. I no longer understood what is hidden, what is real. I had no one to ask.
I was in search of truth, which did not even exist. There were dark and cold days, deep, but unexpressed feelings, forgotten secrets. This uncertainty was too heavy to handle.
I felt I lost something I have never had.
Imagination, Memories, Realities
In my photographic journey, I portray physical, mental, and emotional landscapes through the layer of my current events, memories, emotions and nostalgia. I am connecting imagination to realities, and realities to memories.
In my photographic process I am searching for the borderline between the dissolving reality and imaginary world to show hidden desires, suppressed feelings and silenced fantasies. This project is still ongoing and is searching and investigating the subtle moments in time. The moments that turn into eternity.
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