When I was 21 I almost developed depression, it was after the death of my lover. I lay in bed for half a year, could hardly get up, and had nightmares every night. I was able to overcome it, but now, decades later, these episodes return to me from time to time.
Winter is hard. I live in a small town in the North, the cold creeps through the cracks of the old house, which I rarely leave. What comes crawling out of the holes at night and sneaking around my home? Wild animals? Hairy demons? Evil spirits? I make up stories and find joy in them, my dreams are wild and colorful. But sometimes when I wake up and can hardly breathe or swallow, I have a big lump in my throat.
RAUHNACHT is a dystopian tale about my annual winter blues and my life in a hostile and maybe dangerous environment. Working on it made me feel euphoric and brought back the energy and fun to dark nights.
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